For many rural children, the end of the Christmas school holidays will also mark the beginning of a new chapter as they start high school and embark on the journey of boarding.

While some children cope well with being away from home, it is a big adjustment for many.

St Andrews College (StAC) head of boarding, Matt Parr, says that preparing children for boarding school at home is essential for a smooth transition.

"Start the discussion as soon as possible.

"Have conversations at home about what boarding is going to look like, and be realistic that homesickness is going to be a reality."

Getting children used to being away from home and in different environments before beginning boarding school can make the adjustment easier.

"Any exposure they can have to staying at other people's places or going on sports trips is a good step in the right direction.

"Just sleeping in different places is good preparation."

If homesickness does rear its head, Parr recommends sharing some of your own experiences to show that you acknowledge and relate to how your child is feeling.

"Ask questions about what they are worried about and what their fears are.

"Get them to verbalise what they are actually going to miss and what homesickness feels like."

Parr said that while boarding staff try to make the environment as supportive and welcoming as possible, it will never be home, and parents need to acknowledge and understand that.

"Don't shy away from telling kids that."

Parr said listening to children's concerns when they call feeling upset is essential and advises helping the children shift towards a more positive mindset and "future focusing".

"Ask them what they are looking forward to seeing at the weekend.

"Ask them what one thing that went really well today was.

"It's trying to get them to self-regulate those thinking patterns for themselves."

Parr also said parents should choose the time they call carefully, as a phone call just before bed can leave children upset and unable to sleep, whereas a call after dinner and before prep time can mean children are distracted and less likely to feel sad.

With some children coming from small rural schools to large schools in the city, the sheer size of the campus and the population of students can be overwhelming.

Parr says that StAC, like many schools, has smaller units within the school to make the size less daunting.

"They have their tutor group and their class, and then it expands into houses."

Parr said it is important for parents to understand these structures.

"From a parent's perspective in terms of preparing their kids, knowing the structures within the school, and knowing the support mechanisms from a pastoral point of view is a good thing to learn.

"Then you can have those conversations at home."

Parr also recommends taking advantage of any shadow days or sleepovers on offer for Year 8 before they start high school.

"Do whatever you can to get them into the environment in advance. Let them become familiar with it and some of the people they will be meeting and talking with."

Parr said that parents' own boarding experience can be a barrier when helping children adjust.

The old-school approach to "toughing it out" that many parents would have experienced in their own time away from home has been replaced with a more holistic and supportive approach.

While the old method was to limit contact and keep children in the boarding house for extended periods in "full immersion', the new approach is gentler.

Parr encourages Year 9 boarders to call home daily and aims for a level of care similar to what children would experience at home.

"Nationwide in boarding, the bar has been lifted.

"It's no longer a place just to rest and stay.

"It's a place where you have to add value, grow students and support them."

by Claire Inkson